Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) Logo 'Murder Ain't What It Used to Be!'
by Tony Williamson
Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) Cast

After ageing gangster Paul Kirstner arrives in London from America, he hires Jeff to protect his daughter Susan from the various nefarious characters that his line of ‘business’ attracts. Kirstner is also being pursued by the ghost of his one-time partner, Bugsy Spanio, who wants Kristner’s death ever since he was double-crossed and killed by Kristner in the Roaring Twenties. Since Kirstner has hired the only detective agency with a ghost, Bugsy sees the perfect chance for his revenge, and plans to exploit Marty's protective love for Jean by threatening Marty to "really take care of that dame of yours" if Marty fails to convince Jeff to kill Kirstner. Bugsy agrees to leave Jean alone and not get Jeff involved, on the condition that Jeff makes a phone call. Jeff agrees, and calls Jack Lacey, another criminal, who Bugsy tells them is the only man on earth who has more desire to see Kirstner dead than he does. After Bugsy’s message is relayed to Jeff via Marty, Lacey arrives at the Kirstner home and holds everyone at gunpoint, awaiting Kirstner's return from business in London. Jeff knows that Kirstner needs to be warned, and instructs Marty to pick a fight with Bugsy. Although at first apprehensive, Marty finally exacts his revenge on the other ghost: ornaments and furniture fly across the room, making enough noise to warn Kirstner that something is amiss. Kirstner surprises Lacey, and takes him outside at gunpoint to kill him, and planting a gun in Lacey's pocket so that he can claim ‘self-defence’. But as Kirstner aims for Lacey's head, Bugsy materialises in front of him with a machine-gun. As Kirstner faces Bugsy, Lacey takes the planted pistol out of his pocket and fatally shoots his enemy. Now that he has his revenge, Bugsy can finally rest in peace, and he leaves Marty his cigar and machine gun to show no hard feelings.

Jeff Randall (Mike Pratt), Marty Hopkirk (Kenneth Cope), Jean Hopkirk (Annette Andre), Alan Gifford (Paul Kirstner), David Healy (Bugsy Spanio), Sue Gerrard (Susan Kirstner), Raymond Adamson (Jack Lacey)

Directed by Jeremy Summers

TX:
UK: 2nd November, 1969 @ 7.25pm

Notes:
*Featuring Jeff Randall, the late Marty Hopkirk, and Jean Hopkirk

*In the very first office scene, as Jean walks in, you can see an extra's hand appear to make sure the door closes!

*Kenneth Cope fluffs his lines splendidly: "Ask her why she's taken to sitting on the sleeping room floor!"