'Robot' by Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie

With their finances in a mess, Graeme and Tim are forced to fire Bill and replace him with a baby robot. However, the little automaton proves to be too much for its parents’ to cope with: it needs constant oiling, its sump always needs emptying, and its constant wailing drives them loony. In desperation Graeme and Bill decide to hire an au pair; their advert is answered by several gorgeous girls – but Graeme is worried by Tim’s naughty thoughts, so he opts to go for the ugliest applicant: a strangely-familiar bearded Swedish girl named ‘Helga’ (OK, it’s really Bill). Taking the robot out to play, Bill tries his best to get rid of it, but the little automaton outsmarts him every time. The robot soon grows up into an obnoxious teenager interested only in booze and nookie, and then grows a beard just like Bill. When Helga reveals that she is really Bill in disguise, Tim and Graeme ask him to come back – but this only makes the robot angry; he goes on strike and walks out, taking all the Goodies’ household electrical appliances with him…

Bill Oddie (Bill), Tim Brooke-Taylor (Tim), Graeme Garden (Graeme), David Rappaport (Robot [Voice])

Produced and Directed by Bob Spiers
Executive Producer David Bell
Music by Bill Oddie and Dave McRae

TX (LWT):
9th January 1982

Notes:
*Featuring Tim, Bill and Graeme, and introducing the Robot

*Alternative title: 'Automation'